"In filling out the death certificate, Dr. James L. Luke, the district's medical examiner, listed the cause of death as " hypertensive cardiovascular disease," giving as his source "Dr. Robert Choisser." Yet Dr. Choisser told the press, the following day, that Hoover had had very mild hypertension - that is, slightly elevated blood pressure - for over twenty years; that he was what was called a "borderline hypertensive"; and that "he never had any evidence of heart disease," as far as he, Dr. Choisser knew. He said nothing about the 1957 "incident." ( a mild heart attack)
In the absence of an autopsy (which would also have revealed whether Hoover was using amphetamines), the confusion remains, but it is far from evidence of homocide.
With the revelations of Watergate and the activities of the White House Plumbers, the murder talk resurfaced. To the shock of the Ervin committee investigators, Arthur Egan, a reporter for William Loeb's Manchester Union Leader, who was being quizzed about Teamsters payments to Nixon's 1972 campaign, referred, almost in passing, to "the murder of J. Edgar Hoover." Questioned behind closed doors in a secret session, Egan stated, "Everyone on hearing this says I'm nuts, but somebody in the Watergate thing murdered... J. Edgar Hoover." Egan admitted, however, that he had no proof of this, that it was just his "own hunch."
Another witness supposedly told the Ervin committee, according to the Harvard Crimson, that he had heard that some of the men later involved in the Watergate burglary, led by a man familiar with the security of the FBI director's home, had burglarized Hoover's residence and that a poison of the thio-phosphate genre was placed on Hoover's personal toilet articles, inducing a fatal heart attack."

Whatever the cause of Hoover's death, many prominent politicians - including Nixon - were privately glad the old bastard was dead. The reason was that he had used the FBI for almost fifty years to gather the dirt on everybody, ensuring his dictatorship of the bureau. Nobody dared attempt to remove Hoover from his powerful position for fear that he would spill the beans. Publicly, of course, they praised his service to the nation and called him a great American. Place of burial: Congressional Cemetery, Washington, D.C.

BRIAN JONES Feb.28/1942 - July3/1969. One of the founding members of the Rolling Stones. Some people would say the founding member. Cause of death: drowned in his swimming pool. It was reported at the time that he'd had an asthma attack. Were drugs and/or alcohol involved? In this case, very likely. A contractor who was working on Jones' house at the time made a deathbed confession in 1993 that he killed Jones during an arguement. Some people think that his death was the result of a Stones-ordered hit. Take your pick. Place of burial: Cheltenham, England.

VLAD the IMPALER a.k.a. VLAD "TEPES" DRACULA Nov. or Dec./1431 - Dec./1476. Romanian ruler and inspiration for Bram Stoker's Count Dracula. This entry is not so much about Vlad's death - his was seemingly ordinary for the time - but about the estimated 100,000+ people who died as a result of his cruel rule. He wasn't called "the Impaler" for nothing - a handle hung on him by the Turks - but which he never used in reference to himself. As the story goes, in 1461 the Ottoman sultan Mohammed II and his invading army came across 20,000 impaled Turkish prisoners near Vlad's capital city of Tirgoviste. The sultan turned around and went home. This gory spectacle has been remembered in history as the "Forest of the Impaled". "Tepes" was the Romanian translation of the Turkish nickname "impaling prince".
Any bona fide bad guy deserves to have a cool nickname.
But Vlad didn't stop there. He impaled his own subjects as well - tens of thousands of them. It was a labor-intensive process. First, the victim's legs were tied to two horses and spread apart. Then a stake was gradually forced into the body by way of the anus or vagina. It was oiled to make insertion easier, and the end had been sharpened - but not too sharp - because Vlad didn't want the victim to die too quickly from shock. It was slowly inserted until it came out the victim's mouth. Sometimes it went through the chest. Then the bottom end was set in a hole in the ground. Thousands of people at a time were butchered that way and most died within a matter of hours. The really unfortunate ones lived a day or two. Showing his artistic bent, Vlad would have them arranged in geometric patterns and concentric circles. Then he'd have a large banquet set up amidst the dying victims and watch them expire as his henchmen hacked off limbs and heads with swords and axes. That was a good night's entertainment for Vlad, but the other people invited to the feast sometimes had a hard time eating. Occasionally he would have a few people staked as described above and roasted. Perhaps they ended up on the dinner table as the main course. Many other people met their ends by being burned, buried alive, cut to pieces, skinned, scalped, torn apart by horses and other imaginative ways thought up by Vlad.
As far as his own death goes, he was killed while battling his old enemy the Turks. It might have been an assassination, a result of "friendly fire" by his own troops, or by the Turks themselves. The real cause has been lost in the mists of time. The sultan had his head displayed on a pike in Constantinople to prove he was dead. According to legend the body was buried at Snagov - an island monastery near Bucharest - but a search in 1931 for his remains turned up nothing.

PETER LAWFORD Sept.7/1923 - Dec.24/1984. Born in London, England. Hollywood film actor and TV personality. Member of the Rat Pack and brother-in-law of JFK, Bobby and Ted Kennedy. Drugs and alcohol led to his demise, and of all the Hollywoodites who died as a result of substance overindulgence, his death was one of the most gruesome. His last wife (#4) found him on the kitchen floor unconscious and bleeding. He was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. With kidneys and liver failing, he'd lost the ability for his blood to clot, so surgery was impossible. He was put on life support and slipped into a coma. On the morning of December 24th he moved for the first time in days - his upper body rose due to involuntary muscle contraction and blood shot out of his mouth, nose and ears. He fell back on the bed, dead. Cremated on Christmas Day, his ashes were entombed in a crypt the next evening at Westwood Village Mortuary after a brief ceremony attended by his wife, children, Caroline Kennedy, Robert Kennedy Jr. and several friends. Close by were the remains of his friend and fellow drug user Marilyn Monroe. Apparently, Mr. Lawford died deeply in debt. By 1988, his funeral expenses having never been paid, the mortuary people told his widow that if she didn't pay the piper they'd remove his ashes. His children offered to pay the debt if she would relinquish control of the crypt. She refused that offer, so the kids paid a disinterment fee of $430 and she had the ashes removed. On May 25th, having made a deal with the National Enquirer - photo rights in exchange for a limo ride to Marina del Rey and the use of a boat - she spread the remains into the Pacific Ocean.
An excellent book about Peter Lawford is: The Man Who Kept the Secrets by James Spada.

JANE MANSFIELD née Palmer. April19/1933 - June29/1967. American actress during the 1950's and 60's. Mansfield was often compared unfavorably to that other "blonde bombshell" - Marilyn Monroe - by the critics, but the press and public loved her. So much in fact that in 1960 she topped all press polls for having more words written about her than anyone else in the world, and was awarded the title: "World's Number One Sex Symbol". We strongly suspect that the judge for that award was Hugh Hefner. She was on the covers of over 500(!) magazines and starred in such movies as: Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?, The Girl Can't Help It, The Wayward Bus, Playgirl After Dark, and The Dumbest Blonde (yes, you read that right).
On the night of June 29th, 1967 she was traveling from a nightclub in Mississippi with her three kids, four Chihuahuas and two men (a chauffeur and a lawyer) to New Orleans when the car they were riding in slammed into the back of a truck. She and the two men and two of the Chihuahuas died at the scene. Her kids and the other two Chihuahuas survived with minor injuries. Over the years the story has gone around that she was decapitated - but it appears the truth is the top of her head and wig came off - the tale has grown with time, as they often do. Place of burial: Fairview Cemetery, Pen Argyl, Pennsylvania.
A made-for-TV movie about her - The Jane Mansfield Story - starred Loni Anderson and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

JIM MORRISON Dec.8/1943 - July3/1971. Poet and lead singer/songwriter for The Doors. Cause of death: drug overdose that resulted in a heart attack. Some people just know when to die. Place of burial: Pere Lachaise cemetery, Paris.

BENITO MUSSOLINI July29/1883 - April28/1945. Fascist dictator of Italy from 1922 to 1945. Known as "Il Duce" (The Leader), he was fairly benign as far as dictators go, and only two thousand or so deaths can be attributed to his rise to power and control of the nation. He and his fellow fascists usually got rid of their political opponents - socialists and communists - by shooting and/or bludgeoning them to death. The ones they really didn't like were made to drink large quanities of castor oil - a slow and very painful way to go. About one million Italians died as a result of his screwball military campaigns, and Hitler had to pull his fat out of the fire when his attempted invasion of Greece failed due to lack of enthusiasm on the part of the Italian army. Some Italians found themselves fighting on the eastern front alongside the Germans against the Russians, where more died from exposure to the elements than from battle injuries.
In July of 1943 the Fascist Grand Council refused to support his policies any longer - they were dictated by Hitler - and the king dismissed him and placed him under arrest. He was freed two months later by a German rescue party, and was made leader of a puppet government in northern Italy set up by Der Führer. When the Nazi government collasped in April, 1945 he was captured with his mistress and tried in a summary court-martial. They were shot and hung upside-down with 16 of his henchmen. Apparently the Italians no longer cared that he made the trains run on time. After being spit on and generally abused, the bodies were buried in an unmarked grave. On April 22, 1946 his fellow fascists stole his corpse. It was dicovered in a trunk outside Milan four months later after being hidden in a villa, a monastery and a convent. During August of 1957 - after a campaign led by the neo-fascist group "Movimento Sociale Italiano" - what was left of his remains were taken to the San Cassiano Cemetery in Predappio, northern Italy, and placed in the family mausoleum. He traveled almost as much when he was dead as when he was alive. A further twist to the story is that his widow was visited by a US diplomat in 1966 and given a piece of his brain which had been removed by the Americans during an autopsy in 1945. She put it in a box and put the box on top of his grave.

PATTON Nov.11/1885 - Dec.21/1945. American army general, best known for leading US troops (Third Army) into Germany during World War II at what was then considered lightning speed. One of the best military leaders who ever led troops in battle, he was also a big pain in the butt for the Supreme Commander in Europe - Ike Eisenhower - who was later to become the 34th President of the United States, and never led troops in battle. Eisenhower needed Patton, otherwise he would have sacked him. The reason he was a thorn in Eisenhower's side is that he was totally tactless and outspoken. After the fighting was over in Europe, he publicly advocated rearming the Germans and fighting the Russians. That was the last straw for the Powers That Be, and he was relieved of command of the 3rd Army. Patton was the kind of guy who naturally made enemies, and a person in his high position made powerful enemies all over the landscape. As a result the circumstances of his death have been viewed with a suspicious eye by many people over the years. On December 9th, 1945 the vehicle Patton was being driven around in was crashed into by an army truck. He was the only person seriously injured - he suffered a broken neck and was totally paralyzed - died in a hospital in Heidelberg 12 days later. The most mobile commander of World War II spent the last days of his life unable to move. Cause of death: an embolism (the obstruction of a blood vessel by a foreign particle). Place of burial: an American War Cemetery in Hamm, Luxembourg.
George S. Patton the general was portrayed by another obstinate s.o.b. - the actor George C. Scott in the 1970 hit film PATTON. The flick depicts Patton as a gravel-voiced, effective public speaker. The truth is he wasn't very good at giving speeches due to his self-consciousness of having a high-pitched voice. There is no mention of the cause of death or how he died.

RASPUTIN 1872 - 1916. Russian holy man and notorious figure in the court of Czar Nicholas II. His personal magnetism and ability to control the bleeding of the Czarevitch Alexis, who was a hemophiliac, allowed him to gain a powerful hold over Czarina Alexandra, and thus, her husband. This ticked off the aristocrats and other sycophants, and they plotted to murder him. First they poisoned him - nothing happened. Then they shot him - he collapsed and they thought he was dead. He regained consciousness a short while later, and the plotters were so freaked out they riddled him with bullets and clubbed him in a mad frenzy. Just to make sure, they tied him up and threw him into a frozen river. The next day it was discovered that he'd broken the ties before drowning. His corpse was exhumed and burned by a mob during the February Revolution of 1917. One of my favorite stories.

SIR WILLIAM WALLACE C.1270 - Aug.23/1305. Scottish rebel and national hero. Executed by the English king Edward I. At that time - and for the next 500 years in Britain - the punishment for treason was that the person was hung by the neck (not until dead) and disemboweled (drawn) while still alive. Then the entrails were burned as the victim was forced to watch. After decapitation, the body was divided into four parts (quartered). This is how Wallace met his end - then his head was impaled on a spike on London Bridge. His limbs were also publically displayed in Newcastle, Berwick, Perth, and/or Edinburgh and Aberdeen. That was how they got the message across in those days. Hence the phrase "hung, drawn and quartered".

GEORGE WASHINGTON Feb.22/1732 - Dec.14/1799. Revolutionary War general and first President of the United States (1789 - 1797). Victim of what we would call today medical malpractice. Two of the doctors who attended Washington on his deathbed thought his malady to be a condition called "quinsy". I thought that was the name of a TV show (1980's?), but it turns out that it's a medical condition listed in the dictionary as: "Acute inflammation of the tonsils and the surrounding tissue, often leading to the formation of an abscess.". Another doctor who was called in to examine him disagreed with their diagnosis. He thought it was a massive inflammation of the membranes of the throat. Whatever the case, the former first president could barely swallow or breathe and was in a lot of pain. The third doctor proposed performing a tracheotomy, a procedure newly reported from England but never done in America. He was overruled by the other two, who continued their treatment - bleeding - which was common back then and had been for a long time. This barbaric practice was done in response to a variety of illnesses, and often involved the use of leeches, but Washington was fortunately spared that method of reducing his blood level. Historians agree that he was bled four times for a total of over five pints. That's enough to make a healthy person sick, and it is a certainty that the "cure" hastened his imminent demise. Place of burial: his estate - Mount Vernon, located in Fairfax County, Virginia.

OSCAR WILDE Oct.16/1854 - Nov.30/1900. Irish author and wit. Most recognized works: The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest. Reportedly said on his deathbed: "This wallpaper is killing me. One of us has got to go." (or words to that effect). Cause of death: an ear infection that eventually led to meningitus. Place of burial: Pere Lachaise cemetery, Paris.

HANK WILLIAMS Sept.17/1923 - Dec.31/1952 or Jan.1/1953. American songwriter and country music star. Wrote and recorded the quintessential country hit Your Cheatin' Heart, with which he single-handedly brought the genre into the mainstream. Two of his other big hits were I Can't Help It (If I'm Still In Love With You) and Hey Good Lookin'. Williams lived the "rock n' roll lifestyle" before rock n' roll was invented, and paid the ultimate price as a result - he died from overindulging alcohol and prescription drugs. His last single released before he died was I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive. Place of burial: Oakwood Cemetery, Montgomery, Alabama.

GIG YOUNG Nov.4/1913 - Nov.19/1978. American film, TV and stage actor. Professional acting name from that of a character he played in the 1942 film The Gay Sisters, with Barbara Stanwyck. After serving in WWII Young was selected for Oscar nominations for his roles in the movies Come Fill the Cup (1951) and Teacher's Pet (1958). Third wife was Elizabeth Montgomery - star of the TV show Bewitched. Won Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969), with Jane Fonda. He was a long-time alcoholic and had marital problems as a result. After three weeks of marriage to his 5th wife he killed her by handgun with a shot to the head, then killed himself (in Manhattan). Police concluded it to be a murder-suicide, but were baffled at finding three more guns and 350 rounds of ammo at the scene. Place of burial: Green Hill Cemetery, Waynesville, North Carolina.